Coupling Issues

Automobiles of our generation are cool. They have amazing horsepower, super transmission, sleak shiny bodies, lovely leather interiors, state of the art navigation systems and some of them even have a Bose system for your Rammsteinic auditory pleasure.

But just for a second close your eyes, forget today's mean machines only for a second, and think of those Cadillacs that you had seen in all those movies from the 70s and the 80s. Now concentrate for a second more and take a peek through the window and look into the automobile. What do you see?? What you see is that unlike todays automobiles, the front seat is different. There is no separate seat for the driver and the pillion, on the contrary there is one long seat that the driver and the pillion share, pretty much like the backseat, infact exactly like the backseat.

So what the fuck I hear you say. What in Lord almighty fuck's name does that have to do with anything?? Everything is my answer. Everything related to having sex in a car. Think of today's cars. Is there any god forsaken way that you can think of having sex with any kind of comfort in the front seat of today's mean machines??

First there is the stick,which you need to circumvent with plenty of skills before you have any hope of groping or fondling your sweetheart. Now even if you succesfully get past the stick obstacle there is then the almost impossible task of either moving yourself on top of her or getting her to move on top of you. Unless you and your girlfriend can create unimaginable obtuse angles when your bodies entwine I dont see much hope.

Wait a minute I hear you say, cant my girlfriend move over to my side and ride me like a cowgirl?? Yes I say that she can but at the perils of having her skull crack open as she rebounds of your mean machine's roof. What if I have a convertible? I had one, but tell me do you seriously think that your girlfrined is going to cowgirl you in a parking lot with your roof down and people around you betting on how long you can last.

Now now she can definitely blow me cant she? Of course she can. But spare a thought for the poor girl. While shes blowing you at your earnest behest, the car's stick which any day is bigger and thicker than yours is pressing against her belly, dangerously close to her love button. And suddenly she realizes that it would be much easier and probably more satisfying for her to rub herself against your mean machine's stick and have an orgasm, rather than navigating her way around an obstacle filled circuitous path before she can ride you like a cowgirl or blow you.

Honey let me couple with your mean machine right now, I promise to decouple as soon as we get home. I tell you sex wasnt on the designer's mind when today's mean machines were designed.