Just sayings

1. Prison is peculiar. All the pros are cons.
2. If you are what you eat, I'm dead meat.
3. "Behind every successful man is a woman who didn't marry me." ~Al Bundy
4. Recently, my Visa card was stolen. Now it's everywhere I want to be.
5. A nice way to fire someone is to throw them a surprise going away party.
6. Some people say I'm a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again we’re going to have to let you go."
7. I've found the secret of happiness - total disregard of everybody.
8. Still waiting for Google Earth to have a layer that shows lost Marlboro packs.
9. My wife is always talking on her iPhone. Doesn't she know it has games?
10. I liked you when we first met but, since then, you've talked me out of it.