Friday, October 06, 2006

Some news and some surprise

Ok lets start with some of the news. And before you start getting ideas about the nature of the news, in particular its proximity to the female form, let me clarify, this is good news of the kind that has never before been mentioned in this blog, infact this is the kind of good news that makes the hearts of nerdy geeky people (and no one else mind you) go ga-ga with joy. But hey then again this is that Jhantu blog, so you can be assured though that some mention of the closeness to female forms will come in, maybe a bit later. Now before the subsequent sentences start getting more and more convoluted and ever more confusing and long drawn and before you my dear reader start scratching the top of your head in frustration at the unashamed display of my command or the lack of it of the english language in its written form and scream out O blurt out that fucking good news for petes sake you dickhead fuck, dear readers it is the following:

You see all nerdy research folks and scientists pompously publish unimportant complicated techie papers in completely useless and unimportant scientific journals every year by the tons. But sadly few of them are ever read by anybody, and till date that has been the case with yours truly. But lo and behold, I was at this conference over the past week, when surprise surprise. What do I find but these bunch of Chinese research guys at some big shot company's research division referring and citing with gay abundance about a 4 page work of crap published by one Jhantu on which they seem to have based their entire work. Not just that that work of crap by that one called Jhantu now seems to be the work-horse of that un-named company's production line.

Now believe me when I say this that for us techies seeing our name cited on a random publication or a viewslide in a 20 minute long technical presentation attended by 20 people with gray/no hair, is glamour redefined. We techies you see are satisfied with little. Right from the start (meaning the day we decided to become techies), we know that all our equations and bullet-proof theorems and our super-fast codes are never going to elevate our getting-laid status at a club, the spicy girls are more likely to fall for that chunky truck-driver Chuck, rather than that lanky geeky dude wearing a t-shirt that reads:


And thus we are satisfied with trying to get laid by equally nerdy geeky girls and just to add a pinch of lemon to those out of reach sour grapes we shall say Fucking blonde bimbos who wants to date them anyway, screw those dumb bitches, of course followed by a muffled silent sigh in postscript if only we could.

Anyway without be-labouring the point any more, the bottomline is that we the geeky research folks really get turned on seeing our name displayed on this presentations and tech papers. Thus if your girl-friend or boy-friend or some such character in your life is a geeky techie, and you want to get him/her a really grand halloween present, then come halloween night get dressed in that naughty school-girl uniform (of course dont forget to go commando) and hold one of his pre-prints in your hand and coo to him would you be my professor and teach me how equation number A-4 was derived. And trust me when I say this and believe me I kid you not that you'd be treating that geek in your life to an unforgetable night of 100% pure pleasure if you follow this piece of advise.

But anyway, so I had my one slide's worth of glory in the world of geekies and even had a few students in universities walking upto me and asking me for my email to discuss some aspects of my work that they could not quite follow, but would love to. And I obliged them with my visiting cards in the manner in which Sachin Tendulkar obliges his fans with autographs, feeling all pompous and important and all that shit. Felt good you know, infact felt fucking great.

But then something happened. A few among that bunch of autograph-in-the-form-of-business-card hunting bunch of grads decided to tag along with me for dinner. Now if you have been in a grad school in the US as a geek and been to these conferences, you would know that this is a red-herring with R in caps for that company scientist. Let me explain. The trick that the grad student plays here is that he is out looking for an expensive $100 per person dinner at some posh seafood/steakhouse joint. Of course for those below the poverty line grads a $100 meal is well and truly beynd their reach. So what they do is that they'll get into conversation with a research guy from some company about oh how interested they are in his work. Now the company-research guy being a geeky techie himself, would be overjoyed that some student finds his hitherto crap piece of work so exciting, so that company research guy would take these grad students out to dinner to discuss his work in more details, pick up the tab, and those bunch of grads would get their 100 buck meal, which they were out to look for in the first place.

But what those dickhead grads didnt know is that I am fresh out of school, and for the last four years I have been playing this trick with perfection at numerous conferences. So yea I did take them out for dinner, and being of good heart I did pick up the tab, only the place wasnt Morton's Steakhouse (which by the way serves the best filet mignon in the south coast), but it was Mcdonalds. Game, set and match for Jhantu, I would say!!

And now for the SURPRISE part.

It seems romance has decided to make a comeback into my life. After being sentenced to be in the backseat of thy life for almost an eternity, it seems that she, romance, has decided that it is now time that she would make her presence felt. Now for someone, whose been involved in some of the most eclectic relationships of the heart in the past, allowing romance a foothold is a herculean task in itself. But then pretty hands have a way of tilting the balance:





The princess might kiss the ugly frog and turn him into the prince of his dreams. This might not after all be just tales from the crypt, fairy tales might still come true.

29 comments:

ria said...

welcome back jhantu, and yes yes thats some good surprise, all the very best i should say

rainbeau_peep said...

fame, fortune, romance! ur on a roll! congratulations :-]

Anonymous said...

yes on a roll definitely, and welcome back to the blogosphere

Rimi said...

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winnder!

*mad applause from the stands*

Some people have it all, ki bolbo.

Nautilus said...

Arre wah! Good going dude :-) As they say, uparwala jab deta hai, chhappaer phad ke deta hai... :-)

Anonymous said...

hmmm..hand seems to be of someone punjabi or sikh ..coz of the sacred bangle ;-)

La vida Loca said...

Hey good for you.May the happiness and surprises last :)

Anonymous said...

dude - u write beautifully......truly impressed

PS - do u like girls with nail polish on one hand only???

jhantu said...

@ria, rainbeau,anon: thank you thank you, and thank you again.

@rimi: and take this opportunity to thank my friends, my family, my dog chuchu, my cat chameli, my goldfish gulp and that commenter who got the stands going for this mad applause.

@nautilius: maal hai to tal hai, baki sab behaal hai bhiaya ;-)

@anon: didnt u know that sacred bangle is now a fashion statement not limited to the punjabis anymore, in short wrong guess

@la vida" touche to that

@anon: yes definitely, increases the oomph factor you know

Arthur Quiller Couch said...

So some Chinks read your stuff. Big shit.
But wait - you like nice hands. You are a man of discernment. Now THAT rocks.

Aditi said...

ooh romance and a research article that ppl not only read but referred to...i bet u're up in 7th heaven...
congratulations!!

freespirit said...

my parents are both scientists and after reading your "hello professor" routine, I wonder if that was possibly how I was conceived!

La vida Loca said...

There you go...
http://www.oralcareindia.com/patients/view_consult.asp

jhantu said...

@couch: my fetish count is pretty high, more shall be revealed later

@aditi: errrr, ok

@freespirit: mums the word for me mum

@la vida: thankao

WishfulThinker said...

Fucking good for you dude!!!! Hope this is only an inkling of bigger, better things to come!!! Cheers!!!

Swati said...

Hands and feet are the most erotic parts of the human body........I think........;-)

Chilla-Bong said...

Hmm,Jhantu scan and shoot me one of your autographed potraits.Will try to make a fortune by selling on eBay when they declare the Ig Nobel Prize next year.

Twisted DNA said...

Congratulations on your work being quoted. It's no mean feat and must be thoroughly satisfying, as satisfying as a one-night stand with a hot Latina, I presume ;)

jhantu said...

@wishful: thanks mate

@swati: that too and a few other things as well ... ;-)

@chilla: its on the way dude

@dna: nopes doesnt even come close

starry nights said...

congrats Jhantu..you have struck gold.fist being recognized for your work and then romance.what more can a man ask for.....?

hedonistic hobo said...

congratulations on romance you cheapskate you!

fyi jhant means pubes in hindi. :)

so when didja move from cal to houston? cal being calcutta, in case your umricanness confuses cal with california.

hedonistic hobo said...

and ooooo she has very pretty hands

Anonymous said...

Hey Jhantu, that's a hand of an East Indian (most likely bong). The rings in right hand give the hint.

Congrats on the special achievement at work and for graduating.

M (tread softly upon) said...

Congratulations! And congratulations again! So love and money come hand in hand :)

La vida Loca said...

just dropped in to say happy diwali :D

Anonymous said...

awesome post man !! now do something about your boils, freakshow!!

Anonymous said...

awesome post man !! now do something about your boils, freakshow!!

Mediocretes said...

Pudgy. And I guess you have to be ambidextrous to have both hands nailpolished?

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