Results ahoy

So after a weekend of nice holidaying at San Antonio and spending a wonderful day at Seaworld its back to work :((. bit of an update on the vacation first.

Seaworld definitely has some of the best shows with sea creatures in the country. While they do not have a fish tank as good as those in say Baltimore or Monterey Bay, but by jove they have some super shows. Initially I was a bit disappointed when I saw Seaworld's Shark tank (compared to Monterey it was like my aquarium back home in India where if you strain and squint really hard you might find those two red fishes swimming by), but then the shows really blew my mind. Highly recommended for anyone who gets down to this part of the country.

As for the poker goes, not much to report really. What with the India-Aussie test match and watching India grind and huff and puff like a 18th century steam engine I must say my stomach for poker is not that great this week, though I do plan on putting on a decent session late tonight and over the weekend. On a cricket side note I am praying that India put on a stellar performance with the bat the second time, even though losing is inevitable.

Some results:

12/21/07: 50 NL (Cake)
Profit : $120
Hours played: ~2

12/25/07: Christmas shit on fulltilt where I tilted like hell and dropped 3 buyins
Profit: -$150
Hours played: Marathon session wherein I refused to quit, at one point I was up atleast a couple of buyins but proceeded to take a shot at 400NL (why for fuck's sake???) and was well decimated, to put it really politely.

12/27/07: 50NL (Cake and Pstars)
Profit: $57
Hours played: 1

Weekly results: 12/17/07-12/24/07
Profit: $50
Played: Minimal in a long time of only about 4 hours of total play.

Have a good time at the tables. Oh and when I get home I'll post an interesting (lucky?) hand from yesterday's session.
PS: My day job is really boring me :((

EDit:

Heres a hand from last night. The UTG had earlier be out with mid and bottom pair on the flop (after limping J5s !!) and so I figured my flush and my Q are alive. Hence the flop call and of course the golden turn.

PokerStars Game #14143785184: Hold'em No Limit ($0.25/$0.50) - 2007/12/27 - 21:45:35 (ET)
Table 'Sova' 6-max Seat #3 is the button
Seat 1: Denilicious ($44.55 in chips)
Seat 2: NewmanDogg ($23.85 in chips)
Seat 3: haeper ($54.50 in chips)
Seat 4: satyakee ($55.05 in chips)
Seat 5: brusecco ($4 in chips)
Seat 6: GOBIGRED26 ($30.60 in chips)
satyakee: posts small blind $0.25
brusecco: posts big blind $0.50
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to satyakee [2c Qc]
GOBIGRED26: calls $0.50
Denilicious: calls $0.50
NewmanDogg: folds
haeper: folds
satyakee: calls $0.25
brusecco: checks
*** FLOP *** [2d 5c 8c]
satyakee: checks
brusecco: bets $1.50
GOBIGRED26: raises $2 to $3.50
Denilicious has timed out
Denilicious: folds
Denilicious is sitting out
satyakee: calls $3.50
brusecco: calls $2 and is all-in
*** TURN *** [2d 5c 8c] [2h]
Denilicious has returned
satyakee: checks
GOBIGRED26: bets $26.60 and is all-in
satyakee: calls $26.60
*** RIVER *** [2d 5c 8c 2h] [7h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
satyakee: shows [2c Qc] (three of a kind, Deuces)
GOBIGRED26: mucks hand
satyakee collected $50.80 from side pot
brusecco: mucks hand
satyakee collected $11.90 from main pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $65.70 Main pot $11.90. Side pot $50.80. | Rake $3
Board [2d 5c 8c 2h 7h]
Seat 1: Denilicious folded on the Flop
Seat 2: NewmanDogg folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: haeper (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: satyakee (small blind) showed [2c Qc] and won ($62.70) with three of a kind, Deuces
Seat 5: brusecco (big blind) mucked [8d Qs]
Seat 6: GOBIGRED26 mucked [9c 9s]

Numbers game

The past two days I really havent got much time (i.e. undistracted time) to play, the house being full. I managed to squeak in a decent session yesterday on fulltilt starting off playing 1/2 limit and a combination of being card-dead/getting rivererd tilted me off so that I ended up dropping $80 in an hour and a half.
Limit playing is tricky than it otherwise seems, and its giving me more headache on tilt than elsewhere.

So i decided to put in an after dinner session on 50NL and 100 NL. Played really well and within an hour I had recovered my earlier loss to be back to even for the day. Infact would have made a small profit as well except that a player to my left made a spite call with A7-o after I had reraised him for the nth time with T-T and proceeded to spike his three outer on the flop door. But the board was super scary (A-9-K-K-J) and I lost the minimum. It seems that late night is a good time to play cash games as the players that are on are either tiring out or most of the regulars have gone. This is good thing to look into further. I'll be off for the weekend taking my paremts to San Antonio. So enjoy your vacation and god speed.

12/19/07-12/20/07: $20

Christmas Apple

Updated shopping list:

Mommy: i-pod+i-pod dock+speakers ---> check
Daddy: digicam ---> check
Sister: digicam --> check
Girlfriend: i-phone --> check
SELF: open to suggestions

Im really not getting enough time to play, so at the most I am putting in 1 hour sessions almost mostly on limit cash games. These are going rally profitable at the moment. I am also dabbling in no-limit short stack buy-in play and those seem to work as well.

12/16/07: 1/2 limit (fulltilt)
profit : $30 (20 mins)

12/17/07 : 1/2 limit (cake and fulltilt)
profit: $30 (2 hours, i got stuck in the fulltilt game where twice my top sets got rivered by 4 flushes).

I am trying to build my roll upto the 2-3k range on all the three sites I play, hopefully by the end of Feb (that would also be when I'll get more time to play). This time around I am hoping not to bust my roll by taking unrealistic shots and playing hugely outside my roll. (eg, sunday million, FT main event on 2k rolls).

World blogger championship of online poker

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 8812259

Wanted -- A BRIDE !!

This could be funny if your sense of humor is as twisted as mine, The gems are highlighted for your pleasure :

Part 1. The uber cool SMS vocabed cosmo dude

Hi, this is XXXXX(NAME CHANGED FOR POSSIBLE LEGAL ISSUES), commonly known as Joy. Basically I'm a Mechanical Engineer and MBA(Marketing & Systems). I'm working for DCM-HYundai limited as Manager-Middle East Operation. I stay in Dubai coz I operate frm here. In my Partner I'll look for a definitely beautiful, really fair, well educated and from a good falily and cultural background. I'm liberal in thought of doing job of my partner, its her own chioce, bt she shd b honest to me 100% always, as i promise 2 b d same to her, coz all problems hv solution in discussions. I promised 2 b d best hubby and dad in this earth(I'll try my level best 4 tht). so, basically a beautiful look and mind is required to proceed further. Doctors and engineers and well educated r preferred. who'll b willing to stay in dubai the city of gold 4 atlest initial years and knowing the household work a bit, atleast cooking. Coz I cant cook and aftr marriage i really wanna stop hotel foods other thn occasionally. I lv music, i cn compose and sing a bit n lv driving fast bt controlled. i'm a gold medalist engineer and passed MBA also with A Grade. My partner shd some some bengali culture though its nt necessary tht she shd only b frm calcutta, she cn b frm anywhere in this world, bt preferrably a bengali gal, coz they r the most beautiful both from inside and outside. Anyone of us cn b contacted 4 any deatail what so ever. thts it. ggod luck to all d viewers of my profile, hv a gr8 day.


Beautiful from the inside and the outside, now I am confused !!!!


My Family:

We r a perfect 4. Father, mother, son and daughter. Father is a retired Railway officer-a double M. A person who in my lifetime didn't say single lie which we children r also trying to follow, he didn't utter any bad word till date and hving no addiction towards tea, smoking or drinking, Mother is a housewife-the most simple and beautiful mother and best in ths earth, My elder sister is a v beautiful lady who is a computer engineer ws working 4 big multinational in dubai, nw gone back to b'lore to settle down there;brother in law is also a mechanical engineer and sole designer of all reputed brand-Gap, Gucci, Denim, Wallmert etc. ws also working in UAE with Embee intl, bt nw gone back to B'lore to settle down there hvng cuple of real big offers as indian style industry is booming. myself is already described. this is my sweet little family.


Errr designed Wallmert did he , good for him !!


Part 2. The sportsman, chak -de -india

I am an INTERNATIONAL PLAYER. I am Representing INDIA from last 10years. I am LAXMAN AWARD winner. Honored by GOVERNER of Uttar Pradesh & I also recived best player in INDIA Award. My nature is very frank. I believe in healthy relationship. I am ambitious, confident, fun loving, practical, caring, extrovert Indian boy. I went abroad more then 40 times, & represent India in 32 Country. I'm working in reputed company. May I know yr ans. plz? just tell me R U interested or not with my profile.we don't believe in caste war sushant here our contact no. is :XXXXXXXX

JAI SIYAA-RAAM !!!!

heads up - poker or sex??

She is ready for some kinkicious stuff, but I am playing a donkey for a grand



Online poker tourneys hv a 5 min break every hour honey bunny ...



Sigh!!! What can i say.. life is tough!!


COURTESY: plusev.net

Onion soup serving 20 *

Kitchen is not my favourite place in an apartment. The rule that I strongly enforce when it comes to the kitchen is this: Visit seldom, if and only if when in trouble. I like to think of the kicthen more in lines with a holy ground than any other useful addendum to the apartment. I set foot on this holy ground only as a last resort.

But a great man once said that one day every soul finds GOD and when HE beckons you, you blink your eye like a deer caught in bright red beacon and make your way to HIM. But when HE does call for you, he doesnt do it himself, HE prefers a proxy, something/someone called a prophet. The LORD after all likes to work in mysterious ways. A case in point being Sri Ramkrishna. Without him (the proxy aka prophet) imagine what would have happened to Vivekananda. Would he have ever left the hot humid sultry Calcutta summer, and made his way to a shitty, ice cold, frigid Chicago winter to attend some God forsaken religion assembly?? Would he?? Would he have given up his promising football career with Mohun-Bagan for writing incomprehensible "Vaanis" (mind twisiting religious one-liners) for which he would be cursed in the foulest possible tongue by generations of Grade VII- X students all over West Bengal. Think about it. would he???

Anyway, while you contemplate these heavy thoughts and proceed to lose your sleep in the process, let me tell you that over the weekend, all of a sudden, straight out of the blue moon, like tigers dancing in the rain and peacocks roaring in the Savannahs, one such afore-mentoned prophet paid me a visit. HIS name is SANJEEV KAPOOR (of Khana Khazana fame). Straight out of a modern "Born again" religious fanatic fable he appeared on my Mozilla web- browser and said:

Chicken Korma for 10, Hyderabadi Biriyani for a dozen, Rajput saag in bhumihaar daal (Award winning National unity dish) worth a grand.
Come son, Take my hand, come back to the (holy) kitchen land.
Let me see you Cook.

Thus at long last HE had called for me. But Aesop had taught me slow and steady wins the race. And so I wanted to pace myself properly during this new found pilgrimage of mine. Once again I looked to the prophet Sanjeev Kapoor Nothing fancy O prophet, only something that would point me in the right direction to begin with. Tathastu, he smiled, a few more clicks on the web browser, and there it was Onion soup for 20. Easy to make, delicious in taste, just like utterly butterly Amul butter.

Pick a big vessel and fill it to the brim with water, the prophet commanded. Filled I did. Now son put it on the stove and let it boil. Yes my messiah, let it. Let all thy damnations be boiled out of thee water. Grab 10 large onions and start chopping them down. This is the crusade not some kitty porn remember son. So Chop Chop. Holy shit. Dont take the Lord's name in vain son, remember you are in the holy land. But O great Sanjeev Sir, it has been ages since I have chopped anyone down, and while I chop this damned onions I feel pain, I feel sorrow, my tears wont stop, I miss my Mummy, my daddy, my auncle, my aunty, my dog and my cat. Dont sob like a girl, you useless bastard keep chopping. And chopped I did, and in the process of chopping down 10 onions I re-lived the pain, the pangs, the sorrow of 5 million years of human history, my shirt was soaked, my pants felt like wet sponge. I was crying for humankind. The pilgrimage had started.

Now get 6 large skinless potatoes. Quick. God damn it. I rummaged through my kitchen looking for these skin-less wonders, but alas none were to be found. I ran to the local grocery store, rummaged through sacks and sacks of potatoes, but not one skinless variety did I find. They all had this brown/red skin attached to them. Holy potatoes are indeed difficult to find. In a mode of desperation I finally knocked on Ellen's door (my next door neighbor and a hermin often found deep in meditation in the holy kitchen). Ellen do you happen to have skin-less potatoes, I couldnt find any, not one. She laughed and came back with a handful of these skin-less wonders. I looked at her amazed, Now here was a true believer. Throw these potatoes into the water, commanded the prophet. I tried. I promise you I tried. But my aim was never that good. Not one of those holy skin-less potatoes made their way into the pan. Some landed on the floor, others hit the wall making a splosy smudge in the process, one flew straight out of open window. The pilgrimage is never easy, I realized.

Idiot now put those chopped onions into the water. I did. And then doomday struck. The water was definitely not holy, it was the devil incarnate , boiling with rage as soon as the onions hit the water it snarled it hissed, it swore at me, and then made its way out of the pan and lunged for me. SHIIIITTTT. Damn the thing was angry, it burnt my foot, but still kept coming at me, hissing and snarling as it made its way out of the pan.

And so I ran, the crusade be damned, the pilgrimage be damned, the devil's after me now. But you can never outrun a pan of spilling, boiling, snarling water can you?? You cant. And so I tripped on that water and found myself covered in those chopped onions and that boiling water. I had to get to land, to safety. And so with one last effort I made my way to the chair and jumped on it. The hissing and snarling onion filled boiling water all around me chanting their devil hymns and trying their best to get at me

I was safe. I looked at the browser and the prophet smiled. And now you are ready to serve delicious onion soup good for 20. Enjoy. I looked down on the floor, at the onion soup, dazed, the LORD truly works in mysterious ways.

* After Shibram

Mama Mia or Where you should go lingerie shopping for your girl

The list of things that can turn a guy more than seeing his girlfriend in a naughty school girl uniform (complete with pigtails and stockings) is, well, RARE and truly few and far between. But then, once in a while, not always mind you but just once in a while, you run into something that turns every turn-on logic on its head, gives it an all-mighty spin, and leaves you gasping for breath. And being the considerate human being that I am, without further adieu I shall present to you, dear girls and guys, the greatest piece of clothing ever conceived for the female form. Behold abracadara:

Yes Yes !! This is the CRYSTAL G-STRING, complete with a matching crystal bra. And as the manufacturers claim "It is fully adjustable --- fitting waist sizes 23"-38" ".

Wow!! Are you kidding me. You mean to say no more fumbling through layers of your girl's undies trying to read the tag and figuring out her exact size and then going to that damn Victoria store only to discover hey presto different brands have different ways of numbering their sizes !! And then the shop assistant would give you her million-watt-you-are-an-amateur-in this-thing-i-think smile while politely saying "first time for you sir". No you fucking bitch this isnt the first time, this is the bloody nth confusing time, and each time your fucking makers come up with more and more new and complex ways of numbering their lingerie. Damn you bitch. I wonder, though, do the girls realize how insanely fucking difficult it is for us guys to surprise them with those supposedly sensuous, intimate red-ribbon wrapped chocolate shaped boxes containing a sexy piece of lingerie.

But now, I can buy the sexiest piece of lingerie I have ever seen in my life without the hassle of working out the size conundrum. Now is that a bargain or not??

But then the bloody world is, well, bloody screwed up. So everything lovely somehow has a sting attached to its tail. In this case it happens to be the not so easy task of either getting into or getting out of the crystal g-string (with or without help), as well as wearing it with your fav pair of jeans and going out on a date. It is definitely not recommended for the faint of heart. Trust me on this.

Phoenixian Resurrection?

Returning to an old blog is like returning to a sad old ex, in more ways than one. The settings, the sights, the scenery look eerily familiar, but there is that niggling thought at the back of your head that the sex might have lost its zing. So you scratch your head, giving your nuts a well deserved break in a long long time, wondering whether it is worth the effort in the first place.

But then you wonder where else can you delve into details with regards to such deep and thought provoking, socially relevant subjects like cool dudes who love their i-pod (pod rhyming with load) or about orkut love-birds who send each other one liners representing such traumatizing bastardization of the english language as "cum on yahoo baby, im waiting for you to cum", discuss the merits and demerits of shooting your very own sex home videos, the demerits primarily being about you being paranoid about how your ass will look on tape .... not good not good at all, one piece of bloody horrific indian ass it would be..., provide expert advise on how to handle drunk girlfriends in an expert manner with minimal liability, talk about new and exciting places besides your apartment to have sex in (example an office space) and last but not the least make caustic acerbic fun of one and all.

However, SADLY, this blog has lost its once loyal reader-base. Even the bitchy feminists, the ex-es, those close to the ex-es, who would litter the comment space with raunchy comments, have moved over to greener pastures. So the resurrection looks, well, kind of iffy. But then there are just too many interesting tales being brewed up in the Jhant cafe and I am having too difficult a time keeping all of those to myself. And more importantly my balls are itching to make fun of a few chosen ones. And that in itself is worthy of a Ripley-esque resurrection.

Announcement

This blog is now on a sabbatical, in the meantime continue to read the "other" blog and enetertain me with your comments.



Till next time.
tata

Cockification

stud: aapke dad terrorist hain kya ?
bimbo : nahin to .. kyun?
stud: aisa sex-bomb aur kaun banaa sakta hai

stud: aap hain hamari company ki lucky winner
bimbo: aur mera inaam?
stud: meri company ..poori raat ke liye

(Plagiarized, but obviously)

Thought of the new year

Semicolon or Full-stop?