Lollmao

The story of how the Joe the Noob becomes Baller. . .

Joe puts money on Full Tilt and loses all.



Joe knows not what he does.



Joe buys Leggo Subscription and watches videos.



Joe crushes online poker.

This image has been resized. Click this bar to view the full image.

Joe cashes out and buys an Audi S4.



Joe gets a super hot gf.



Joe now Pawns Noobs.



Balla Joe now runs the streets and shouts out to Leggo!

Verbatim from here

Why I dont like Vir Sanghvi

Everything was was going fine with this one, a mundane, boring, run-of-the-mill piece that one tries to skim through rather than try and digest every word, and then you reached the last line:


Twitter can be fun. I know because I tweet. I have 3.6 lakh followers. But it cannot be—and should not be—confused with the real world.

Really !!!! How trite can you be Vir Sanghvi????

More curveballs

You can either dodge them or try and hit a homer.

I was tempted

more than briefly

This really is getting out of hand

Sigh

Unlimited holdems

I'm debating playing a live poker tournament on saturday with 8k for first ($320 entry, about 80-90 runners, super weak field nullified by a horrid structure). For the uninitiated live poker is the dantes inferno of boredom, especially for those like us who are used to playing a million tables simultaneously online and used to non stop action.

The pace of live poker can crush Mother Teresa's giving soul and God have mercy on you if you are at a table with whinny guys. I never win with AA so I try to lose the minimum with it, is one of the freakishly standard line that I hear whenever (if ever) I get out to play these live donkaments. I was once at a game where the guy next to me played every hand in which he had a 3, he whispered to me half an hour into the game you see it man? What I ask, There are atleast a couple of 3s on the flop today every other hand man, I tell you 3's the lucky card for the day. I aint folding any of those treys today, he rumbled on in his texas accent.

Then there are those dumbos who have watched too much poker on TV and hollywood up every hand they are in, they'll take an eternity to make the most trivial decisions, put on their sunglasses, pull their caps down, if they are wearing a hoodie in the sweltering texas heat they'll make a huge song and dance of pulling the sweats up and then start staring you down. If looks could kill, there would be a massacre.



I'll put off my decision till saturday morning, if i wake up in time, then i might give it a go, else you always have




Oh on a more and important side note, if you are looking to make a cool million, well make that 5 cool millions, look no further. The race for the millions though is already on.

Paging the Doggg



or Chuck



or your friendly neighborhood pussy

Cool story bro

Muaaaaaaaaa

Breaking news

Something big is brewing, will update soon.

Hint : Following in the footsteps of bloggers like greatbong, sidin to name a few

Enviable profession

The 2010 douchebag tourney is underway

Vote here

A sampler:

Last Update: 3/19/10, 1:58pm

Idols-- they are all around you

I'm not sure this is the right forum to post this (I guess it could go in the brag section, but not my intent), but I will post it here since my post is a "view" from my perspective. I have been a professional poker player since 1998 and have been one of the most successful poker players over the past decade. Success can be defined by different ways esp. when it comes to poker, but I believe I have achieved a good amount of success consistently every year in terms of money, but more importantly, in life. I am not famous, nor am I mentioned on 2+2 much, but I am def. in the top 1% of earners from poker in the past 10 yrs.

I started playing poker in '98 after meeting my future wife in Vancouver, Canada. I met her, married her, and waited for her immigration papers so she can come down to the US. As an american, I was not allowed to work there legally, so poker seemed like a good way to make money legally to support myself. At first, I played low stakes limit hold'em games, then started playing $10-$20 limit hold'em which was the biggest game in town (back then there were no nl cash games anywhere). From the beginning, I knew I wanted to be the best I can be, and ordered most of the good poker books on the market (there were few at that time) inc. Super System and all of Sklansky's books. I was winning from the beginning, not on luck, but because of the effort I put into making myself a winning player. I eventually became one if not the biggest winner in the city. I remember winning $40k the 1st year playing fulltime and thought that was a lot of money to make..I was about 25yrs old at the time. I was not satisfied though, and wanted to become a better player and studied as much as I could. I read almost all the cardplayer magz, ordered more books, and talked poker w/ winning players (there wasn't much info on poker on the internet back then). I have never had a mentor, although I have mentored a couple of friends for awhile. My gf and I got married, and we had a baby (which was a surprise). I grinded hard to save money so when we moved down to the US, we wouldn't be in a tough spot. During those times in Vancouver, my gf, who would become wife would accompany me to the casinos and clubs and see me win consistently and eventually asked me to teach her. I did not want to teach her cuz I knew how hard it was to make money at poker consistently...how much discipline, mental stability, math ability, etc. it took to do well over the long run but I finally gave in. Eventually she became a solid winning player and contributed to our success. In 2001, after exchanging $15k Canadian for $10k US, we moved down to Los Angeles, w/ a 1 yr old baby. I had aspirations to play poker professionally. I really did not know how we would do, but I knew we would do our best that we could, and if we failed, I could just go get a job (having a family really helps keep your focus..usually).

Once in LA, I frequented all the local casinos, mostly the Commerce, playing $6-12 to $20-$40 limit hold'em, w/ the occasional small buyin tournament. Along the way, I studied more and and started winning more. I knew right away that my management of our bankroll would be detrimental to our success in poker. I would never play too big where a really long bad run would break us. I never booked a huge win, but that's because I was playing mostly limit cash games relative to our roll. I was making enough to support us and we lived the middle class lifestyle. Along the way, I knew improving my credit would be essential for later, and when we moved down to LA, I worked on paying down all my debts and establishing better credit. Also, I knew that I had to pay taxes on our winnings, inc back taxes from the money I won in Canada, so I went to a CPA and told him our situation and he helped me pay all the taxes I owed. Since then, we have paid our taxes every year (side note, if you are a pro, you should pay your taxes for many reasons, ...inc that it is the law. Harrington's new book on nl cash games has a very good example of why it is better to pay taxes than not as a pro..you actually make more in the long run by paying taxes). Also, I made sure we got health insurance for us and we bought our 1st family car that we still own today..an suv.

In 2003, when our lease was up, we decided to move to Vegas and hopefully buy a house (homes were much cheaper in Vegas than LA). We moved to Vegas w/ $20k cash and our belongings. I intended to play live cash games like I have been doing, but the Moneymaker and internet poker boom would give me a better option..internet poker. We had played online sporadically before, on Planet Poker and Paradise Poker (those were the biggest sites back then) then Party Poker invaded the market, and invade they did. We turned our focus to internet poker, notably Partypoker, and the games were very good. We did well playing limit online and we cleared 6 figs for the 1st time. We took a risk (not sure if this was the best move for us at that time) and decided to buy a house after 1 yr in Las Vegas. We found a $400k house w/ 4 bedrooms and decided to put 10% down and moved in at the end of '03. Improving my credit the previous years made it easy for us to buy the house (plus it was a time when homebuilders were selling homes like hotcakes). Once we moved in, we continued to play for a living. It was nice to play at home while raising a family. The 1st month we moved into our house, I won the online Partypoker mil (equivalent to the Stars mil every sunday) for $250k. Talk about a cash boon! The very minute I won, I started thinking about the best way to use that money, and I started studying investing..buying some investing books. I also put an additional 10%into our mortgage to avoid PMI. I paid off all our debts, inc our car. I eventually invested most of our money into long term mutual funds. We did not really play bigger games live or online, although I started playing some $100-$200 limit games at the Bellagio a little more. For some reason, I got lazy playing poker after that and we did not make much more the rest of the year. To this day, my biggest flaw in poker is being lazy and not playing enough.

The next couple of years brought the influx of nl cash games and I slowly transitioned over to them. I knew that the limit games were getting tougher and nl games would be the game of choice from then on. I have never played a hand of nl in a cash game before then and as always, I studied and became good at it right away (it helped that the games were very soft on Party..oh if I only knew then what I know now). I started playing $5-$10nl, w/ some shots at $10-$20nl, while my wife stuck to limit. My wife did well for a couple of years, clearing 6 figs back to back yrs in '04 and '05. Along the way, we emphasized keeping a good family life, and raising our child the best that we could. We never said bad words w/ her around (and believe me, playing online it's easy to let slip a bad word). We were Christians and we tried to get to church every sunday (I'd say we did an avg job at that although we go just about every sunday now). With our success, our immediate family members would ask for financial help, and we always helped. To this day, we have immediate family members that we support (you 20yr olds have it easy right now).

2005 would be the 1st year since I started playing professionally that I would make less than the previous year in poker. I did make my 1st wsop ft cashing for $70k. I just missed improving my previous year sum by a few thousand. I strived to do better in '06 and I ended up winning more than I ever have . I went deep in the wsop ME and eventually finished 73rd for $60+K (the year Jamie Gold won it over 8000 entrants). Also, on Oct 13, '06, the UIGEA was passed (unscrupulously) and we know what happened after that. Partypoker closed to Americans and Neteller would follow (would make it tougher to deposit and withdraw afterwards). Different sites opened up, w/ Stars and Full Tilt becoming the big 2 in the US. Games got much, much tougher. For my wife, her easy and big wins were diminishing. For myself, I kept improving and took a very realistic approach to where my skill levels lied relative to the poker world. With that, I did well in '07 playing on FTP mostly, topped by a win in the 1st ever FTP $750k guarantee in Auguest for $135k. Again I topped the previous year, inc all buyins for tournaments. During the year, we moved to a bigger house overlooking a golf course in Vegas and we bought our 1st luxury car..a Benz E500. We also kept our previous home, and rent it out now.


This year, I have already won more than last year, and I made an effort to track every single min. playing cash games and every tournament (live and online) using cardplayer analyst. There were some interesting stats for me...I am a net loser this yr in tournaments inc a disappointing 1 cash (for 4k) in 13 events at the wsop. My total buyins amount close to $200k (about $50k in live tournaments) this year (I am not a high volume MTT player unlike a lot of kids nowadays, but more of a high volume cash game player in terms of hands played even though I usually played 2-5 tournaments online from Mon-Sat and 5-10 tournaments on Sundays) and my total payouts amount to a little over $180k. There are a couple of points to be taken from this...w/ no disrespect to successful online MTT players (couple of my friends are high volume MTT players)...the guys you see making 6 figs from online MTTs are really not making as much as you would think. There are some that are making really good money and are really good at MTT's, but the totals don't list the net totals (cashes - buyins) and these guys easily spend in the 6 figs in buyins every year. Also, it is very difficult to maintain consistently winning years playing MTTs strictly. There are a few that have done it, but most fail and even the best go a long time w/ rough stretches (since MTTs are much more volatile for a winning player than cash games are). Also, I am not discrediting tournament players...I have won 2 big ones online and they can really boost your roll. The other point is that if you want to be really successful in the long run, and make lots of money in poker, cash games is the better way to go (unless you are one of the few very succesful live MTT players). Also, I have improved w/ each passing year the # of tables I am able to play online. This has contributed to my total earn each year (the # of tables I play now is anywhere from 12-16). This has also helped me to cut down on the # of hrs I play so I can spend more time w/ my family and other interests (inc video games where I spent too much time but not enough time exercising).

During the past 10 yrs, I have seen just about everything to see in poker and the poker world. I have failed w/ loaning people money (as I am owed enough money to buy a BMW 750...I hope I get repaid back by various people, but could be drawing dead w/ certain people). As Roy Cooke has said in a previous column, learn to say "No". When I was single, I had discipline problems w/ playing too long of a session chasing losses..eventually w/ the help of my wife, I overcame that. I live in Vegas and do occasionally bet sports and shoot dice but I am very disciplined and lose no more than 1% over the course of the year of what I make in poker that year. I have seen so many people try to succeed in poker, and most have failed for various reasons. Even the ones that are still playing are always broke at some point or at numerous times. Learn to manage your roll. We have done a great job at that and we've never been close to broke after our 1st year playing fulltime. Hence I have yet to play really high stakes poker (plus it really is less stressful w/ less variance at stakes you are comfortable w/). Learn from criticism but don't be detered by it. As successful as I have been, I have been criticized for bad play, and have even been called a bad player, inc a couple of times here at 2+2. Do I argue their beliefs? No, I think why they would think that and figure out if they may be right w/ certain parts of my game, and if so, I learn and improve. I have had good runs and bad runs. I just recently came off a bad run where I lost $60k (live and online combined) and I even dropped down stakes online to start back from basics and to improve my game (also softer competition is always nice at the lower stakes). I am not too proud to play lower stakes to get my game back on track and to rebuild my roll (although I was never really close to broke since we have a lot of money in investments and equity). I can say I had a great month in Nov. playing $2-$4 and $3-$6 nl w/ a couple of nice tourney cashes for $15k total where I recovered my entire downswing while improving my game overall. Now I am back to my usual games online and an even better player. If you were to ask me what my biggest accomplishment in poker would be, it would be close between 2 things...that I have improved as a player every year and my results show that (save 05 but that was a good year nonetheless) and that my wife and I have been able to make a very quality life for our entire family (this would be my #1 accomplishment). Even when I play long night sessions online, I wake up just about every morning to take my kid to school because I want to show her that I am not a degenerate gambler w/ no regard for my family. Believe me, for a poker player, waking up at 8am every morning is not easy, but there are priorities in life, and family is higher than sleep and poker, plus I just go back to sleep when I get back home.

Also, I want to stress that it is always better to learn as many forms of poker that you can. I am not strictly a nl cash game player, although the bulk of my profits come from that variation...I've had my successes in tournaments, and I have and still do occasionally play limit hold'em and diff variations of limit poker, inc 2-7 triple draw, badugi (on stars now) among others. It keeps playing poker from being too repetitive and from getting burned out (a subject that is not discussed enough I believe). Also, I am not an "online player", because I do go out once in awhile and play live, and the 1st 5 yrs of my poker career were almost all in a live setting. Come Jan 20th (for those who don't know, that is the date the final set of rules for the UIGEA go into effect), we don't know what will happen to online poker, but I do know that I will be prepared to play live if need be. Also, I want to make a quick comment about a 2+2 contributor by the name of The Engineer who posts mostly in the poker legislation section. He is hands down the person who has done the most on 2+2 to keep us informed about the ongoing regulations and I along w/ others (inc most of u guys) can not thank him enough for all the work he has done to try to keep online poker legal for all of us.

Before some of you guys think I am rambling on and that this post could be considered a long brag, there is a purpose for this post. I even debated whether to post this, but I felt like poker has given my family and me a lot, and I wanted to show that one can lead a successful and rewarding life playing for a living. It may seem selfish to show how well I have done playing poker for a living (relative to the real world and most of the poker world..obv there are bigger and much bigger winners than me, but over 10 yrs, I would estimate the # is few), but I want to show that poker can be a rewarding occupation if you are realistic w/ yourself, and always striving to get better (I guess you do need some amount of certain qualitites, like analytical ability, tilt control, etc.) Also, I happened onto a thread on here recently of a certain hs winning player who decided to give up poker as a profession for awhile because he amounted huge losses (though he says he is still a big winner overall). It can be a very stressful lifestyle, but if you approach it the right way and have the right mindset all the time, it is easier and you really can live a very productive life (I will leave the argument of contributing to society to the other threads here...I have donated to charities as well as a side note.) I like to think my wife and I have played poker professionally the right way and for all the right reasons, and for some, it can be done.

John

Via this

FML

Too many curve-balls.

You sir : FAIL

A mega LOL here:

A 38-year-old father of two was jogging and listening to his iPod when he was hit from behind and killed by a small plane making an emergency landing on the beach, officials said Tuesday.Robert Gary Jones, of Woodstock, Ga., was killed instantly on Hilton Head Island on Monday evening, said Beaufort County Coroner Ed Allen.The single-engine plane had lost its propeller and the pilot's vision was blocked by oil on the windshield, Allen said.

Infact this deserves the triple whammy FWIW

Believe

We are handed a life by peers, parents and society, you can do that or follow your own dreams.

-Hugh Hefner

Mum i forgot the blouse

From the Daily Mail :

She has a legacy of wearing revealing dresses. But it appears at the age of 44, Elizabeth Hurley is still not ready to give up the game.

The actress attended the Love Ball charity fundraiser last night in a dazzling blue sari WITHOUT the cropped top, a Choli or Ravika, which is typically worn underneath it.

And under the glare of the camera flashlights, well, the effect is self-evident.

Who dare ask now "Choli ke peechey kiya hai madam"

Sigh

After 5 years of not using credit cards for transactions of any type, big or small, humongous or minuscule , necessary or indulge-me-sprees, today I made my way back to the dark side via a $3.84 purchase at a certain Seattle establishment.


RIP:



On a brighter note look who's back on PS3

More BioShock 2 Info

Ten/10

Disturbing dream

In which an ex plots my murder

[ ]

Kisko ptaa tha pehlu mein rakha
Dil aisa paaji bhi hoga
Hum to hamesha samajhte the koi
Hum jaisa haaji hi hoga
Hai zor karein, kitna shor karein
Bewaja baatein pe ainwe gaur karein
Dilsa koi kameena nahi
Koi to rokey, koi to tokey
Iss umar mein ab khaogey dhokhe
Darr lagta hai ishq karne mein ji
Dil to bachcha hai ji
Dil to bachcha hai ji
Thoda kaccha hai ji
Haan dil to baccha hai ji

-gulzar

Yoda speak

Bottomline : Regression to the mean doesnt exist.

darndangshootduggummitawhellnograciousme

I have spent the last 3 nights trying to beat the final level of this freaking game called The Conduit
And I fucking cant, admittedly I have read that this sequence of the game that takes place near a ruined version of the Jefferson Memorial is absolute nuts, but come on 3 frigging nights, a million deaths and i still cant beat this last leg/complete mission 1.

There are a million alien dumbass drones that attack me in swarms and waves and the fuck-face aliens just wont die. Fuck you SEGA.






Current state:

Ponderous

An old post from Jai that pretty much nails the topic top, dead and center (reproduced verbatim)

I have a friend who works for a bank in London. He’s doing well for himself but he thinks of his job as a necessary evil, something that must be survived for 10 hours each day while he tries to make time on the side for the things he really likes doing. His real passion, going back to our school days, is acting, and when I last met him he had just returned from a weekend trip to Ireland, to play a role in a short experimental film directed by a former classmate.

He loved the experience and couldn’t stop talking about it. “I wish I had the luxury of traveling to Dublin to be with those guys every week, he said, “or even just participating in three or four shows of a theatre performance in London each month. But it isn’t easy to juggle this along with the other stuff.” Looking at his eyes, I could see that the strain of the weekend was making itself felt. We parted after an early dinner; he was very tired and he needed to be at the bank – for “the other stuff” – at 9 AM.

It probably says something about the life I lead that such encounters come as minor jolts. At risk of causing serious annoyance, let me tell you something about myself: for the past seven years, my “work” has largely consisted of reading books, watching movies, and writing about them – all activities that I enjoy. There have, of course, been many commissioned assignments – which means often having to plough through less-than-engaging material – but after I established myself on my beat it became easier to pick and choose. Thus spoilt, I have to be regularly reminded of one of the most basic facts of human existence: that most working people in the world keep their professional and personal lives in separate, airtight boxes, and baulk when the two things chance to overlap; that they meticulously plan their weekends and weekday evenings (assuming they aren’t working late nights) and feel a bitter sense of loss if they don’t succeed in squeezing maximum utility from those precious pockets of “leisure time”.

Four years ago, I made another important career decision (with the help of a generous retainership offer from the newspaper I was employed with) and began working out of home, on my own time. Freelance writing may not be as lucrative as many other professions, but I rarely have to spend on books any more, and that’s where most of my money went in my pre-journalism days. It also means freedom from the ball-and-chain routine, freedom from neat and sterile office routines that make little sense to the writing life (what if the Muse goes AWOL between 9AM and 6 PM and comes calling at midnight instead?). It means being able to avoid the stress and the time-wastage associated with being stuck in Delhi traffic for over two hours each day.

I can spend quality time with my dog. I don’t have to shave every day, or every third day for that matter. Nor attend meetings or conferences, things that rank very high indeed in the long list of pointless manmade inventions based on the pretence that it’s possible to make sense of the world. Best of all, I don’t have to don formal clothes. (When I was a child, I wanted to be a vet. This partly had to do with love for animals, but I’ve come to believe that the real reason was the notion I had that vets weren’t required to wear ties or suits.)

And – to return to the all-important point with which I began this piece – there is no discernible divide between my “work” and my personal interests. I can spend my morning reading a great new novel by Orhan Pamuk (which is in fact what I did today), then watch a couple of films on DVD in the afternoon and evening (occasionally pausing to make little notes), and truthfully claim that I've spent the day adding value to my skill-set as a columnist/reviewer. My banker friend, who earns a lot more than I do, would probably agree that that really is luxury.

I see you turning green, reader, so here are a few crumbs of consolation: each of the benefits I’ve mentioned above comes with small minefields. It’s easy to become addicted to being anti-social. Getting out, even to go to the neighborhood mall, can feel like a chore. On the rare occasion that I do get into my car and travel a long distance, I find that my driving skills have deteriorated through disuse. Self-discipline is paramount in my line of work, and at times when it isn’t all coming together I find myself yearning for the extra shove that can only be provided by a martinet-boss. My dog is over-pampered and sulks mightily when I’m away for even a few hours. Power cuts, and visiting relatives who assume that because you’re home, you’re free, must be hazarded.

Turning something you enjoy doing into a career can be a tricky business in other ways; it can easily lead to a situation where you’re never really switched off from your “work”, and this can affect your family life. This is something I have to consciously guard against. My wife has standing instructions to smack me on the side of the head if things get out of hand. (Thankfully she’s a feature writer herself – albeit an office-going one – so she understands something of the compulsions of this life. But she’s afraid of discussing movies with me because I’m too “analytical”.)

All that said, would I trade this in for a regular working routine, or a high-paying job that I couldn’t be enthusiastic about? No way. Whenever I even consider it, I think back to a remote time in my past, a time when I had just graduated in Commerce from college and seemed set for a career in chartered accountancy (because it was the done thing, the inevitable thing. I’d been good in Maths and Accounts in school, so what else was there?). There’s a vivid memory of interning for my Articles in a middle-rung CA’s office, reading out and making tick-marks against debit and credit entries in an office ledger under the supervision of a genial man with whom there was nothing I could really talk about, while I secretly daydreamt of the movies I would rent from the British Council library later in the evening... if I got out in time.

When I think back to those days and reflect on the life I’m probably leading in a parallel universe right now, I can only thank my lucky stars.

Peter Joseph’s cult Internet film Zeitgeist posits a near-Utopian world (and a very improbable one) built on a high-technology, resource-based economy rather than the debt-perpetuating monetary system that all of us take for granted. One of its many conceits is a future where people won’t have to spend their lives chained to jobs (described as “paid slavery”) that they aren’t inherently interested in, but would find their own niches, adding value in little ways by doing things that are personally satisfying and meaningful to them. I like to think I'm already halfway there.


On the flip side, someone who took the leap and found himself struggling:

Post 1:
Running bad, playing bad, time to play some 100nl on UB to get my confidence back. Feel pretty down about leaving my job, when don't feel I can play the game at the moment. EDIT - I am fucked. Seriously giving up a big salary to play poker. Self excluded from FTP, and get fucked on UB. I hate this shit. 4 days till no job, down a lot this week. Posted by WhiteHeatSYD at 7:41 PM

Post 2

The year is pretty much done It seems that everyone else is reflecting on the year they have had. So I may do the same. There are so many people to thank, that have helped me out. I was going to walk away from poker at the start of 2009, at the end of 2008. I wouldn't of made it this far with out the help of Jared Tendler, the effect he has had on my life (in and outside of poker) can't be underestimated. He has helped me rational a lot of different things. I still have tilt issues, which I will continue to correct and need to iron out pretty soon if I am going to realise my potential. I desperately want to suceed as a poker player, but have maybe held on to tight. 2010 needs to be more balanced, as at times I became consumed so badly by poker. This has held me back a lot. I need to know when to play more/play less/study more/study less. Aaron Wilt continues to be my biggest supporter. I am truely grateful for the help that Aaron continues to give me, and asks for so little in return. So many times I have bitched to him about how shit things are, and he has always been there regardless of how bad he is running. Aaron has had a rough 2nd half to the year, but his patience will pay off and he will be crushing in 2010 no doubt. I am really looking forward to meeting Aaron (and Missy) in January at the Aussie Millions. Josh and Greg have been really helpful over the last few months, we have had some great meetings, and have managed to iron out a lot of my problems. Even if Greg's mic is always on mute. He is a bit older than Josh and myself, so is still trying to learn how to use a computer. TreeManG off DC, has become a great friend over the last six months, and I hope I can give him the support he needs to crush 50nl in 2010. My family have been amazing over the last couple of months. It hasn't been easy for me but they have always listened and tried to understand even if they don't understand how poker works. I got this great note from my Dad the other day. It is amazing how so few words can mean so much. There are a ton of other people to thank including the DC community, who have all been willing me to start crushing. i have received some really thoughtful messages, that I need to reply to. I hope in 2010 I can start crushing the games again. I want to repay the faith. The poker community is a very unique thing, and something we should be grateful for. So many different people with different stories are bonded by a passion for one game. To name a few over people that have helped me this year, and that I have formed bonds with included Malfaire, Riverrock, Marc, Big Owl, Simon, Stephen etc etc. I have missed a ton of people off this list, and that I am sorry for. As 2010 is a mere 11 hours away. It is time to relax take the time out, and hang with friends. I am going to relax my expectations on myself for 2010. The only thing I can control is playing consistently. It doesn't matter if I don't make it to mid-stakes next year, providing I have done my best. My tilting is unacceptable and that needs to be address first and foremost. 2010 can be a great year, it is just going to depend on how I choose to carry myself. So until 2010. GL everyone, and thank you all..... Posted by WhiteHeatSYD at 5:27 PM

In the end it probably boils down to this

Do I have the balls? Not yet.

Monkey trail

Via Amit Verma's blog, a really funny/entertaining/interesting few lines from a book called Thinkertoys

Imagine a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb toward the banana. As soon as he touches the stair, spray all the monkeys with ice-cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the monkeys are sprayed with ice-cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, turn off the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and will want to climb the stairs. To his surprise, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

Again, replace a third monkey with new one. The new one goes to the stairs and is attacked. Two of the four monkeys that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing the fourth and fifth monkeys with new ones, all the monkeys that have been sprayed with ice-cold water have been replaced. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs. Why not? Because as far as they know that’s the way it’s always been around here.

So learning by repetition is not always a winning strategy?

I see what you did there

New fav movie

My memory is kind of on a self-granted vacation and I cant for the life of me remember where I heard/read the interesting reviews for this one, but man o man, this is one helluva ride.

Its like Kill Bill on a heady cocktail of acid, meth, coke and steroids.

The movie is TOKYO GORE POLICE.


Its a Japanese movie, where the Japs have gone pretty much nutso (theres a super crazy anti-harakiri ad campaign that should be played over and over again), shit funny gore (be ready for plenty of it), some super thrill-based-horror, a leading lady who likes to cut her wrists, often in manic frenzy , a new breed of criminals called the "Engineers" who have some bizzaro but novel mutation whereby their wounds turn into deadly weapons,

a villain (a bioscientist), a serial killer who murders women with an array of razor sharp suction pumps before hacking them up into tiny pieces and neatly storing them in a carton with not a drop of blood spilled at the crime scene.

The movie is quite novel, extremely fast paced (goes ape-shit berserk at times) and rates very very high on the gore meter. Apart from Antichrist this is definitely one of the more bizzaro movie I've seen in my lifetime. The only thing disappointing about TGP is its pathetic and downright sloppy back ground score.

Ratings: A
Warning: If you have a girl in your life who is squeamish, lock her up in the attic, grab some popcorns, turn up the volume and enjoy TGP.

WBCOOP time

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker! Bloggers can register for to play for free in the WBCOOP, if you don’t have a PokerStars account you can get your Poker Download here.

Registration code: 488113

Resolution 010

Go pro by 2014.

Obsessed

Having been obsessed with the game of poker for the majority of '09 (trust me when I say that I've read and re-read and re-re-read every damn article, every damn strategy forum, every pro's blog that is out there on the internet, sent a million PMs to absolute unknowns but people whose game i respected, offered a guy in Houston that I would run all his weekend errands if he lets me watch him play online tournaments on Sundays) it would be apt to end the year with this snippet from an interesting thread on two-plus-two

Here's your problem. You don't have the fortitude, nor bankroll, nor temperment, to be a casino. A casino is a big ol' building, where people's dreams might possibly come true. Especially if you own the building.

Casinos get rich, expand a whole city, and get richer, by offering bets where the casino has a two or three percent advantage. But the bets have to be offered, have to be wagered, a million times. Roulette, for instance: red or black, odd or even, high or low, the house has a 5.25% advantage on all but one bet on the layout.

Will the customer occasionally have a streak? Of course. A full third of the customers that evening will actually have a winning night. The casino doesn't care. You, of course, would be willing to walk in front of a truck. Will one drunken guy actually make several thousand dollars, having started with twenty bucks? Of course. The casino doesn't care. You, by the way, will not even walk out looking for the truck, you will put a bullet in your brain, right there at the table. The casino is right, and you are not right. "correct mathmatically" might be a better term than "right".

You think, apparently, that when you have a winning hand, and the 'customer' is drawing to a flush on the river, You've Got Him Nailed. You don't. You have only created a situation where you have four times the advantage that a casino has. You have a situation where it's 80-20 that you're going to win.

Now I want you to work really, really hard on this, because you haven't yet. If it's 80-20 for you, how many times out of a hundred can we predict that the 'customer' will hit his flush? The answer is twenty times out of a hundred. ('Grab that man. Don't let him dash toward the highway'.)

Can the 'customer' have a streak of winners? You bet he can. ('Grab that revolver'). He might hit several in a row.

Why do you care? (Because you're an idiot). No, it's because you haven't given it the appropriate amount of thought, and because you're not bankrolled well, and because you care about the outcome, and you should not care.

You should have enough in your bankroll that you can offer the 'customer' his flush draw about a hundred times a day. You want him (assuming he's dumb enough: but you're right, there are millions of 'em) to call your bet, and shoot for his flush draw. 80-20 in your favor, if he's betting on the river, 60-40 in your favor if he's betting on the turn (and, you get to charge him MORE for the river, if he's not all in).

If he wins his bet, and you're smart enough to be a casino, you should comp him: buy him a few drinks, compliment that ugly date he brought with him, buy him dinner if you have to, but keep him right there, making his bet over, and over, again.

But not you: you are involved. You are worried. You are so upset that he won one, or ten, of those bets. But the fact is, if that happens a thousand times (that bet where you are 80-20), you will be a rich man. You should be grateful, when you have put the 'customer' in a postion where you offer an 80-20 proposition, and he takes you up on it.

Here's what you should do: change your attitude. Play standard poker. Lose your emotion. You don't care about this bet, or the next one. You just want the guy to keep playing, if he's going to keep playing at the odds you're offering. Charge him for his longshot bet. He'll pay? He'll go for it? OUTSTANDING.......

Grind it out. (They call it that, for a reason). Lose your personal involvement with one hand, or one session. If you're playing right, the money, in smaller amounts, will roll in. (Not in larger amounts: you're not entitled to larger amounts. When your opponent bets his flush draw and loses, you didn't win the whole amount. You won the whole amount LESS the fact that one out of five times you're going to lose, and thus give some back. But believe me, there will be plenty left over.)

Quit caring about your results. Play standard poker. If you're doing it right, the money will roll in.

Play standard poker. If you're doing it right, you're offering the customer bets where your advantage is four times that which built Las Vegas. Do it all day long. All week long. All year long. Grind it out

Happy Birthday

And a bonus Virgin Mary rant



courtesy full metal jacket by kubrick

Tigers Wood

Q: What course gives Tiger the most trouble?
A: Intercourse

Boooiyaaaahh

Obligatory year end TOP 10 lists

Since no one does it better than The Times, lets leave it to the experts.

24 days of christmas

Inspired by this thread in a high-stakes poker forum, a bunch of my poker-playing buddies at Houston decided to adopt a few families for Christmas and buy for them stuff like food, toys etc.

We went with this one.

We've already made one trip to Walmart and bought stuff worth about $450.00 (mostly toys and food). Hopefully as more and more poker players (ppl I dont know, but others do) in the Houston area, start chiming in we can make a few more trips to Walmart.

The cool thing is that, at this time we have had donations as little as $10.00, but in the grand scheme of things all of these have added up and contributed tremendously to this sudden spur of the moment idea.

A big shout-out to Alex, Htownkid (Matt), Javi and many others.

Godspeed and happy holidays.

Interesting read

While browsing my favourite poker forum, I came upon this thread that discusses the pros and cons of playing Mid-stakes poker professionally, pretty interesting read.

I'll probably edit this post and add my 2c later in the day, when I have a bit more time.

That time of the year

The one we call Christmas, whats on your list?

Mini turn-around

Graph in the first hour (1BB = $4, so thats about 1k burnt in about 2 hrs)



took a break, spent some time with the wife, friends came over for dinner and then decided to put in one more late-night session to try and get unstuck.




YUPPIEEEEEEE

GIVE ME A EFFING BREAK

SET OVER SET : TWICE
SET VS 4 OUTER ON RIVER
KK VS AA
SET VS FLUSH DRAW

ALL IN THE SPACE OF 200 HANDS.....

FUCK POKER

Decisions

Thankgiving weekends could be super tricky, trust me, possible pic repost

How can you be so obtuse?

For those that dont get it.. sigh DONKS

Jai Bharat

Perennial mojo

After all these years its still a one-man show , atleast I had the pleasure of watching it live on a jerky comp broadcast.

Transfer

Fingers crossed

Currently playing

Bit old, but in love with it right now

Extreme ways by Moby

"in quotes"

There is an inescapable sensation in the viewer's awareness that the love between them is of a kind that can only reach its perfection through tragedy

WTF

From the Calcutta Telegraph:

Rat bites patient’s hand
- Woman bleeds as rodent horror revisits SSKM
A STAFF REPORTER

A patient in the orthopaedic department of SSKM Hospital woke up late on Saturday crying out in pain — she had been bitten by a rat.

This was the second instance in five years of rodents feeding on humans at the state-run referral hospital which spends lakhs on pest control every year.

Sobharani Mistri, 50, was admitted to the orthopaedic department of the hospital with a tumour in her left ankle on September 18.

On Saturday, the homemaker from Regent Park fell asleep around 10pm.

Soon after the lights were turned off, the on-duty nurses heard a cry and rushed to Mistri’s bed.

“The patient was shivering in pain and fear. Blood was oozing out of her left hand. The rat was still on the bed,” said a hospital source. “She was administered injections and given other medicines. Nurses attended to her and dressed the wound.”

Though it is super appalling, the piece would not have had balls big enough to qualify for a WTF moment , until of course you reach the very end of the piece.

"A senior official blamed the rat menace on “inaction” by the company responsible for rat control and also a decision by the authorities in 2004 to remove cats from the hospital premises. “The hospital was not free of rats till 2004 but their numbers were under check. Since the cats were banished, the population of their prey has grown by leaps and bounds,” the official said."

As they say the sting is almost always in the tail... meeeeeeeeowwwwww

RIP Gately

When MTV first aired on Indian tv he was there.

Bizzaro quotient through the roof

Hmmmm

A Saturday that follows a Friday

Its raining final tables.

Nice way to spend a friday evening

Good start to October, godspeed. Planning to put in a massive grind over the weekend

October goals

1. Attain Goldstar status on Pokerstars, for this to happen I have to put in a pretty decent amount of grind
2. Take 2 fridays and saturdays completely off in the month.
   
3. Catch up on some movies
4. Plan the thanks-giving trip
   

Another one for the month

Just closed out one more 180 man tourney, played well, ran good, feels gooooot. Thats 2 for the month. So all in all September has been a good month in terms of profitability. Much love and appreciation for the knickers.

Sicko

Dhann-Tanaa-Tanaa

Fpiderman Fpiderman

Take a bow Manmohan desai, Vishal Bharadwaj is in the house.

After a couple of superb India-esque adaptations of Shakespeare classics, Bharadwaj's latest offering pays tribute to the 70-80s mad-caper-fultu-commercial-formula driven bollywood pot-boiler (the likes of Don, Amar akbar anthony, Sita aur geeta, Namak Halal) and manages to come with a recipe that atleast in someways reminds you of the great gangster mad-capers of the late 90s-early millenium (lock-stock, layercake, snatch, Pfiction).

While the madness/energy/entropy diven whatever can go wrong will go wrong logic is not quite at the same level, as say that of a Lock- Stock (I might be biased here btw as Lock-Stock remains my favourite movie of this genre), but it would suffice to say that Bharadwaj does a darn good job, atleast 80% of the time.

Quirky and eccentric characters, that are kind of a mainstay for this genre, are beautifully set-up and available in plenty.

Chandan Roy Sanyal as the coke snorting, perenially high, supra-unpredictable, and as Charlie says "Mental hai Faala", youngest brother of a Bengali Don trio is the show-stopper of Kaminey. Its a shame he didnt get a bit more screen-time and a bigger shame that the obvious love-angle between him and Charlie that had so much potential was underplayed later on. Hell, Charlie even married a girl in the happy-ending climax, though he did name his bookie-shop after his one true love Michael.

But the one character that kind of lacked the eccentricity/quirkiness and sometimes felt a bit dull and what I think is surely the biggest sore-point/let down of the movie is that of the pivotal Bhope-bhau character, the jai-maharashtra mouthing marathi-manoos don. This one had so much potential, but Bharadwaj didnt quite rope this one in nicely. For example the scene where Bhope bhau and Michael play a fake wooshka-wooshka gunfight, while Michael is superb, Bhope-bhau seems a tard mundane. I liked the character of his right hand man/brother-in-law much better, the one who loathes at the frequent threat of his mother will be fu*cked (teri maa ki *****) if he botches the job, from Bhope bhau.

Another let-down was the climax, Bharadwaj needed to up the antes a fair bit more than what he ultimately settled for.

Both PC and Shahid were pretty good, PC more so, as the pregnant marathi girlfriend.

All in all, Kaminey is a "good" movie in my book, it came close to being on the great list and had the potential of being a Tarantino-eqsue love-fest (the one in which I develop a supreme man-crush and start touting bummers like Grindhouse as masterpieces), but unfortunately Bharadwaj showed a little bit more restraint than he should have. He held himself back, that teeny tiny bit more and that in the end made all the difference.

Greatest scene : Charlie and Michael, holding hands and singing "Fpiderman fpiderman" in the rains.


Chota Fortcut

Closed one-- finally

After some disgusting/disappointing runs over the past week (1/24 to out in 18th after JJ<88, when 1st was 4.8k ) I finally managed to close a 180-man tourney last night. While the money wasnt great 400ish, feels good to finally close one.

I also have a coaching session scheduled with a top tournament pro on friday night, really looking forward to it.

Oh and Jennifer's body is here, at last !!!!!!!!

Antichrist

Is an opus magnum. Available on torrent. Not for the faint of heart, typical Von Trierisque manic depressive captivating movie and a brilliant performance by Gainsbourg (Cannes Best actress, 09) as a regular housewife who turns into a vindictive, self-mutilating, genitia hacking, husband blaming/killing monster after their child dies in an accident while the couple is busy humping like theres no tomorrow. Defoe is good as well. When will this be in US theatres??

Talking of movies I was thinking of 5 of the most disturbing movies I have ever seen and this is now firmly in second place. The hallowed list

1. The clockwork orange (Kubrick)
2. Antichrist (Von Trier)
3. Shining (Kubrick)
4. ..
5. .. (multi-way ties for the 4th and 5th spots).
   

Getting the hang of it

Slowly I am getting the hang of playing big field (1000 peeps+) small buyin (<$15) Multi table tournaments (MTTs). I strung together two 3rd place finishes in the last 7 days for a total of 2.3k playing these huge field MTTs, one had 1200 entrants ($11) and the other had 2500+ ($5.5). While I was super disappointed to get 3rd in both, but whatever.

Good start to september. Now lets try and maintain the momentum.

New found motivation

I have set up a goal to play atleast 10,000 hands in the pokerstars/Fulltilt 6-handed cash game this month at the smallest stakes to try and get some of my confidence back+solidify my game a bit. Lets see how it goes. Also stars is offering a bonus of upto 300 bucks for new deposit of $600, so these hands will count towards the bonus-whoring as well.

Note to self: Fold 67o in all positions except the button.

Frustrating tournament poker

Over the past 10 days, I played 2 live tournaments both of which had a some-what decent payday and managed to bust both in spectacular fashion.
The one that hurt most was a $125 tourney that got about 55 people. I was playing my A++ game and with about 30 left I had about 2.5 times what everyone else had and was feeling super. Usually if I start a live tournament well, almost always I close it out, finishing atleast in the top 3. Not this time, and not in the past month it seems. Since my back to back wins in live tourneys, towards mid june my live record is :
0/5.
I've been making some really brain-farty decisions, getting impatient/anxious, not thinking things through, and massively overplaying AK and each time running into KK/AA.

I got super frustrated and went back to grinding Heads-up cash online . Also started playing 6max cash. Currently playing at low stakes and averaging about $22/hour.

Anyhoo theres a big $322 tourney in September, which I won last year, and if I am feeling ok will probably play that.

Till then live poker is :