Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Block the blog and let me walk the road to blogo-fame- please DoT

Ever since I heard that the DoT (department of telecommunication) has sent out a highly classified top secret hush-hush memo to various ISP providers in India asking them to block out certain blogs hosted by good old blogspot, yahoo 360, rediff amd what not, I have been checking my blog with an alarming regularity, praying, hoping, keeping my fingers and my toes and my eyes and every other conceivable body part which can be crossed crossed, hoping that my blog is on the DoT list of blogs to block(which rumors say run into some 22 pages). Now I hear you say, are you loony jhantu, why the fuck would you want your blog blocked??

Well you see this is my one chance to be a famed acclaimed blogger, bloggers around the world and especially from India would pour in by teeming hundreds into this blog, just to get a peek-a-boo at the blog that was blocked by DoT. Suddenly my posts which even on a good day I find repulsive will acquire a hidden, mysterious 3rd dimension. Havent you read the Jhantu blog, my my I tell you the way he attacks society through sex ridden sarcasm is just awesome will go the email that one blogger sends to all others on his/her mailing list and they in turn to everybody else on their mailing list and so on and so forth till ad-infinitum.

Maybe I would even get an interview with some second-rate Indian youngs' gun magazine or something like that where I will answer unimportant questions in an important pompous manner. So why do you say you are obsessed with porn and the female sex Mr.Jhantu, is it a hidden message that you are trying to send out about liberation of the female species. And my answer wont be because I'm a horny prick fuckface why else, no I would instead go on a tangential convex diatribe The real purpose of this blog is to let the females of my country know that for long sex has been kept hidden in the closet, but now it is time for them to come out of that closet and accept it to be a natural act. Through my blog I want to unite the females of my country in the sexual revolution so that they can write and pen down and act upon their their sexual fantasies without worries and if those include me, myself and I then let it be so.

And and and!! There would be bloggers who would write a post or two (the non-sex ones I mean) about me and me blog. Fuck man I could even be nominated for the bloggie or something. And the award for the most sex-starved asian blog goes to --JHANTU!! Thank you, thank you, thank you one and all. This $20 coupon from Amazon means a lot to me. At this moment I would like to thank my friends, my family, my dog, my dick, all the desi-females who have come in contact with me or my blog or my dick and have henceforth gone on to fuck every homo-sapien with a dick, a special thanks to you too.

But how the fuck would I get my lousy blog blocked, that is the million dollar question in hand. It seems that some horny teenage american sex-starved girl's blog titled "princesskimberley" was blocked by the DoT. But somehow my sex starved posts didnt make the cut, maybe its got to do with gender bias on the Dot's part or something. So obviously sex+male is not the buzzword in the DoT hitlist. Well then how about pro-terrorist statements. If I say " Dear DoT members hidden in this blog's posts is a secret formula for making RDX laden explosive charges from thin air and it is my belief that SIMI and Laskar and Hezbollah and what not have cracked my invincible secret code and are making up explosives from thin air by the dozens. So it is imperative that you deny access to this site to everybody and anybody in the Indian subcontinent. This is an urgent plea on my part to you DoT, much like Jack the Rippers' stop me before I kill again message, this is my block this blog before the secret formula leaks out to more and more people message. Please act on it STAT (shake that damn DoTass tootsie)".

Please dear DoT, block my blog and let me have my two days of fame in the sun. I promise I wont take out campaigns, or public litigations, or form yahoo groups or orkut groups condemning your actions, instead I will be eternally grateful to you, though I would continue to make unimportant, hollow, superficial statements about you and the Government and censureship for the rest of my life, which btw I know means peanuts to you.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

An interesting viewpoint, and completely opposite to the ongoing public blog writers' feeling.
Is this post meant to be taken seriously/ is it an attempt to ridicule anything and evryhting on principle??

skdash said...

hehe. Hillarious.

Anonymous said...

Sarcasms galore and in this cas might be apt too.

santanu said...

HE HE. wonderfully funny. Nice blog btw

Anonymous said...

my first click to your site showed "forbidden." is that part of the dot scheme?

your writings aren't mean or sarcastic, actually i think you are more humorous and ironic than anything else.

thanks to your dick are in order.

keep it up, haha :)

ria said...

hey your blog on click says "forbdden", so has the DoT trick already been put into action? Heres to jhantu's blogo-fame!!
cheers

jhantu said...

@everone: the blog is still not blocked.. unfortunately. I need a new ploy now, anyone with ideas feel free to share with me.

Anshuman Ghosh said...

hmm .. thats a tricky scenario - how to get your blog blocked.. I have an alternative idea for fetching you the 2 minutes of fame you are longing for - try speaking against IIPM and thou shall get sued by IIPM ;-D

snail said...

I think uve made too mild a statement, u need to make something much more big and sinister and continue making it for some time before ull get ur wish fulfilled.
Keep trying though

jhantu said...

@anshuman: thats way below the public horizon of interest dude, so slim pickings there i thinks

@snail: yup im racking my brains right at this moment

Anonymous said...

lmao...

chimes said...

jhantu, i'm sorryyyy...
do u mind that i still comment on ur blog? it's just getting funnier now. pls forgive me?
c

jhantu said...

@chimes: feel free to comment sweetheart

Vj said...

I liked it .
Impressive work

jhantu said...

@vji : thank you

chimes said...

woo hoo! tx! :)