Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Booty check realities-- in a pervert's defense

I confess. Anytime in a bus or a train or a room or even a class, whenever a pair of nicely shaped legs and ass tucked in a pair of tight clinging jeans/skirt/dress and a not too long t-shirt walks in, my eyes inadvertantly hones in on them. Now, I know femme fatales, that it does qualifiy me to be one of those creeps who are always giving you the once-over in your books. Some of you who are even more blunt would label me as a lerching leering staring fuck-ass pervert.

But you misunderstand me O lovely ladies, you really do. You write billions of words of prose denouncing my noble-intentoned stares, that whistle that unconsciously escapes me and my friends' lips, as an act of pure admiration, when you walk past us leaving that smell of jasmine perfume behind like a whiff of fresh, pure piece of curvacious heaven, you even brand that as a cheapo act. Did you label Mozart as a cheapo when he finished composing the 5th and whistled in awe-struck admiration at the beauty of the piece. Did you?? And yet when I, enamoured by your mere walk, let out that same awe-struck soft whistle that Mozart had used, even adding a Govinda-like teri pant bhi sexy teri shirt bhi sexy tune to it (all for you), you brand me as a cheap fucking eve-teaser. Oh how you misunderstand me.

When I'm giving you that longing, creepy go-over stare in the classroom, I'm not leering at you for Pete's sake, I'm admiring 5 feet 5 inches of pure curvaceous natural beauty from the bottom of my heart. You should realize that you (or your booty or maybe both) have made me completely forget that complex wave propagation equations, which happens to my bread and butter, that the profie was talking about. That stare of mine which you have labelled as an act of pervertism, is in reality my ode, my tribute to you. I can forget my rozi-roti (livelihood) but I cant forget leering at you the moment you walk in, can anyone give you a bigger or greater tribute??

And then you break my heart even more by saying I grope at you surreptiously, in the bus or maybe in the train or maybe in the metro, or maybe whenever I get a gropable opportunity. Oh how you hurt me by saying this. Didnt you know that there are saints and bishops and popes and fathers and sisters and groups who spend a life-time looking for God, searching for him, trying to reach out to him, and still cant find him. And I that poor leering pervert standing in that crowded train or bus see you, my Goddess right in front of me. And theres my chance to reach out and actually touch you O Goddess, actually get a feel of what it means to have a handful of God's (in this case Goddess') bootylacious heaven in my hands. And you call that groping?? Thats not groping O dear ladies, thats me finally making contact with you, the elusive Goddess.

It is with a broken heart that I'm penning these words. I know you and your clique and your brand of feminism can never see that noble intention, that divine ode, that heavenly love that my leering stares oozes everytime you walk past me.

In closing consider this:
You see a shining sex oozing Lamborgini whizz past you on the road, what do you do?? Do you not stop what you are doing and stare at it with longing eyes. Now does that qualify you to be a leering pervert, or does that qualify you to be an admirer of pure 400 horse-power worth of beauty?? Does that guy driving that Lamborgini make a U-turn and come back at you with the words "you fucking jerk stop leering at my car" or does he not feel proud wth the "Check my beauty out guys and girls" line going through his head.

Why cant you be like that Lamborgini driver, O ladies of this world?? Why?? I rest my case and leave the judgement in your able lovely hands.


descartes said...

Is this an attack on feminism laden with sarcasm or is how you actually feel??

Mastani said...

and the sex posts are back. welcome.

Anonymous said...

Wooooooohoooo, jhantu is back. All hail the returning raunchy sex posts.

jhantu said...

@all: this post has been posted due to public demand for sex posts, that hs tended to cos a slight flooding of my mailbox. For the super-inquistive emailers unfortunately I have branded your emails as junks as of today.

Anonymous said...

Well Well back to the needling posts are we. Gooood!!! But do u realize whatever you said sounded trash,and doesnt make any sense whatsoever. Next thing you'll start defending a rapist.

cupid said...

Now really this is pushing the envelope a fair bit isnt it??? Defending eve-teasers?? Are you serious???

wannabe blogger said...

He HeHe this might piss some people off for sure

chimes said...

brilliant and well said. so it's you and robert plant who understand the Goddess. so few men (and women!) do. someday you shall be richly rewarded.

cupid, instead of the term "eveteaser" i prefer "drowning man." for him to clutch whatever life saving apparatus around is more an act of desperation than perversion.

Anonymous said...

Ok so the reason you couldnt resist groping at the female in the bus is b'cos you found yourself touching God/ess is it?? Now I'ne heard of many a ludicrous explanation but this tops it by a long long distance.
No wonder you need a defense you pervert